When one bad apple does spoil the whole bunch…

rey spadoni

There’s more to the story, I’m sure.  The whole Ray Rice, Commissioner Roger Goodell, Baltimore Ravens kerfuffle story that is.  There’s almost always more to the story…

… but let’s move past the issue of how and why the gladiator mentality of the National Football League coupled with commonplace corporate cover-up thinking caused this problem in the first place.  Let’s consider this issue of domestic abuse.  It’s hard to talk about.  It’s awkward.  National statistics suggest that one in three women have experienced physical violence from an intimate partner.  I work within the health care field and can only say that I believe it.

There are a number of contributing factors, tops of which is ignorance to the facts.  Domestic abuse is about control and there are warning signs.  Domestic abuse is often tolerated when suspected because “it’s a private matter” or because it’s misunderstood (“this is your cross to bear… you must bear it”).  And when we “productize” women (check out many of the commercials played during a typical NFL game), we suggest to the masses that women are something to own, to control.

The Ray Rice incident was horrible.  Watching the video can only make a person feel sick.

But it is shining a light on the ignorance.  It is exposing the bad apples among us who look the other way, who believe that others can be mere possessions, who continue to invest our money and time in a league that really ought to know better by now.

And to those who think about women (and men too) who are controlled, who are victims, who are subjected to living without hope… and think “why don’t they just leave?”, please consider these stories (click here).

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2 Responses to When one bad apple does spoil the whole bunch…

  1. Rodney says:

    Amen Rey! I too work in the healthcare field. I have seen women, and I personally know women who have been beaten and battered! It is disgustingly sad when it happens. All the women I know, fortunately, had the strength to get out… eventually. It wasn’t easy for a lot of reasons. You touched upon them here. Resources are limited… psychological despair can “disable” the people being abused… safety concerns… and so on. The women I know personally are strong and have a lot of support around them. Everybody can’t say that, which makes it even tougher. There is no one answer of course, but now that it is in the spotlight, again, hopefully someone will run with it and make some lasting changes. In the meantime, if you know someone… keep encouraging them! Let them KNOW you are THERE for them for anything! Having a local, personal support system is just as important as federal support for a lot of women. We can curb this problem with a grass roots effort of sorts. I really liked one quote I heard from an NFL player… “God made women for us to lean on, not beat on”. Amen!

  2. Watching Ray Rice coldcock his then-fiance in an elevator was nothing short of horrifying, and nothing any civilized person would condone. Interestingly, however, his actions were not illegal (nobody filed an assault complaint). I’m not sure how I feel about that. Certainly attitudes must change on a societal level. Rice and his wife did us a service by bringing this issue into discussion in a big way (even here on a photography blog!). Most people talk about the victim (why did she allow it, why doesn’t she leave, etc). Let’s start talking about the aggressor: why does he feel he has the right to smack her? That is the attitude that must be changed.

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